|Coral bells, coreopsis, delphinium, Lily of the Valley|
Over the last 17 years with so many deaths of those I've loved, plus, the death of my "dream" home and not fitting into this community well, I've floated along, not really caring how anything went. I was angry and grieving quite a lot. Each year I'd put something in the garden (perennials being my favorites) but since this place was mostly shady, I had a hard time finding what I should put out. Nothing worked. Many plants and trees died. I continued to feel everything was ugly.
But then last year I started to feel some ownership. I discovered some plants that did well here in spite of the harsh, clay soil and lack of sunny areas. Hostas were not only thriving, but huge. Coral bells work. Lily of the Valley was out of control. And hummingbirds showed up and entertained me.
|This hosta has leaves larger than my hand.|
|The Lemon Balm I never planted, but just threw over the hill!|
|More Lemon Balm (and a geranium) but this time I planted it here and it's doing well.|
|Sometimes these Purdue gnomes and my turtle, Henry, take walks in my gardens. You never know where they could show up!|
I still had some editing to do, but things are shaping up and I feel peaceful. Even though I am still not included in many places, I feel I've found peace and my own world right here in my home. I used to spend a lot of time looking for another place to live. I'd dream of selling this place and moving somewhere that I could make sense of everything and feel included. But this summer I feel differently about it. I know I'm not still not included in communities around me, but finally I feel a peace with where I am and am content on being here and making my own world by writing and tending those right here.