They Say It's Your Birthday!

Yup, yup, I turned another year older. I love birthdays! Since I've gotten to be so old and so wise, I have lots of things to say and advice for people. What's great is I give it out, and I don't even care if you take it or not! The joy for me is just saying it. And yeah, I'm still young enough to know everything.

So here's my 2009 Gifts of Crystal's Truisms:

Obey Gravity—It’s the law.
Wipe the blood off...and continue!  Charley Wright, MGHS golf coach and history teacher
If you’re happy and you know it—Go away! (Just kidding.)

Here's your things  to do today:
1. Get up
2. Breathe in and breathe out
3. Survive
4. Breathe in and breathe out
5. Go back to bed.
6. Keep breathing. Don't even think about it.

Take my advice—I’m not using it. 
I’ve seen Elvis. He was sitting next to Big Foot on the UFO. (Love Elvis. So sue me.)
I childproofed my house. They still get in.
So many books, so little time.
It’s all good! (I use that one all the time.)
Have a nice day! (Just leave me out of it.)
Always being right is an awesome responsibility. I take my responsibility seriously. 
Your opinion, though interesting, is irrelevant to me.
I’m not anti-social. I’m just not real friendly.
Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.
It IS as bad as I think and THEY are out to get you. (And my Aunt Adeline used to think that the Russians controlled the weather.)
Everything I say is fully substantiated by my own opinion.
Yes, it IS always about me.
I am not obsessive I am not obsessive I am not obsessive I am not obsessive
You’re never too old to do goofy stuff. –Ward Cleaver
Celebrate with ketchup and potato chips! (I do.)
If I don’t write it down, I’ll forget it. Now where did I put my pen?

God is good, all the time, whether you appreciate it or not. And loves you more than anyone can ever love you. I won't always be perfect in that, like Him.

Do you have something you say all the time that makes you smile? Or quotes that show your personality? Go ahead and share!